Tom Tom the Turkey Will Be Here Soon

If breakfast gods existed, I would have to assume they were out to get me. As it is, I do wonder if God is in the process of breaking me of some of my OCD habits...beginning with breakfast. First the waffles, now the yogurt? A week ago I was pleased to see that my yogurt of choice--Stonyfield organic nonfat plain yogurt--was on Manager's Special (i.e. cheap) at Kroger. When I returned a week later to restock, I discovered that it had been on Manager's Special because they are not selling that particular product anymore. I settled for the most similar alternative-- the low-fat, as opposed to nonfat, version. Yesterday I mixed it with my berries, took a bite, and... it tastes like sour cream. Eww. Today I just poured milk on the berries.

This is day one with a new brand of waffles, since Eggo is currently experiencing some production problems. I saw the sign in Kroger a week ago, at which point the Storeys kindly donated a box of waffles from their own freezer, buying me another week of normalcy. Today, I venture into the unknown: the world of Kashi Heart to Heart Honey Oat waffles. Quite comparable in terms of taste and nutrition to my Eggo low-fat whole grain waffles, but significantly more expensive.

My dreams last night had nothing to do with breakfast, although one did involve eating... or rather, not eating... but I will save that for last.

The first dream I can remember was about a youth mission trip. We were preparing to return to Tennessee, and the leaders scrambled around to fit the last minute details in place. We were scheduled to leave that day, but I waited for a phone call on which our departure depended-- I think the call was to tell me whether someone had packed for the trip. At 11:30 p.m., the call came. At that point I thought it would be better to postpone the trip for the next day rather than begin the long drive so late at night. Plus, I still had to pack, check the tire pressure in the vans, and have their oil changed. A father chaperoning the trip insisted that we leave that night. The team stood in the moon-lit parking lot, and this father (now in charge) handed me a key to the white letter van, and Andrew Storey a key to the red letter van. Andrew and I looked at each other and frowned; we are aways van buddies. He can't split us up for such a long trip! Who would we have to laugh with? The dream ended with that question.

In the second dream last night, I was pledging a sorority (I can confidently attribute this to my recently developed habit of watching Greek.) Our pledge class took a trip to the beach, and as most of us played in the ocean, one shy girl sat alone. Her dad watched from a distance. I knew I should include her, but I had more interest in having a good time myself. A little ways off the coast (close enough to swim) there was a fixture... like a double-decker square pier standing alone. I swam to it, grabbed hold of the beams underneath the first level, and swung as one would on monkey bars. After a few swings I gained enough momentum to flip myself to the top level. I landed in an empty hot tub. My friends still in the water were impressed. To prolong their jealousy, I did not tell them the hot tub was empty, or that it actually hurt when I landed in it. I went on and on about the warm water and the view from above. Finally I climbed over the edge and flipped back into the ocean.

Here's the food dream... kind of. I sat down in my mom's kitchen to eat with my family, and someone (NOT in the family) served us a "culinary delicacy." This person put the plates in front of us, each with a whole burned crow-- feathers, beak, and all. I was appalled. No one else seemed to be bothered by it. I felt my stomach begin to churn, and I ran to the bathroom. I did not actually vomit, but I decided to fake the noises to send the message that I would not be eating the bird. Interesting that on Thanksgiving night I dreamed about a dead bird on my plate... the turkey I ate yesterday was fabulous, just for the record!

We're Especially Extra-Ordinary

I am a self-proclaimed morning person. Mallory is a self-proclaimed *jerk* when she wakes up. I, therefore, on days when our morning schedules overlap, often make it my goal to make her laugh before she can open a kitchen cabinet. This morning as I sat in the kitchen eating my waffles, Mallory walked in, eyes half open, and breathed out a quiet, "Hey." I smiled mostly to myself, then said, "Last night I dreamed that I was in a window decorating contest, and I was decorating my window with bananas. I peeled them, then licked the sides, then stuck them to the window in a cool design." Goal attained :)

That was probably the weirdest dream of the bunch (pun intended) last night, but there were plenty more. As usual, I am not sure of the order of events, but I will do my best to piece them together.

In one dream I stood dressed in all black on the roof of the Athletic Performance Center at JMU with my housemates. We had broken in through a back door one night during construction and happened upon a ladder and trap door that led us to the roof. Standing there we took in the aerial view of our campus, feeling smug, yet peaceful... until one of us peered over the edge and saw a police car directly below us. (Wait. Does this sound familiar to anyone else? I really did dream it... but that part really did happen :)) Down! Down! Down the ladder! We tip-toe-ran through the building to the back door, and as we exited the dream shifted and I was sneaking out of Tuckahoe Elementary School instead. To avoid being seen I buried myself in leaves and crawled (still under leaves) across the grass. I emerged in a mulched area on the side of the building. When I stood up, I was alone. In front of me stood a bare tree--leafless and with no bark. Just smooth and simple. It was dawn, and the way the light came through the branches made me think it was the most beautiful tree I had ever seen. I felt compelled to climb it, but as I climbed, the branches and trunk disappeared. I sat on the lowest branch--perhaps five feet off the ground-- and realized there was nothing else above me. The tree that I'd found so beautiful was not so grand after all. In fact, it was not even alive.

Fast forward a few minutes. I walked in the front door of the school and made my way to the 5th grade hall. Everything was exactly as I remembered. I walked past the library, then turned the corner, walked up a few stairs, and peeked into Mrs. Hayden's class on the right. They were singing. I continued down the hall and stopped in the doorway of Mrs. Neal's room. The class was empty except for Mrs. Neal, my 5th grade teacher. She smiled and greeted me by name. Surprised, I responded, "You remember my name?" Then she said, "Of course. I always knew your class would do great things."

Fascinating.

Jung Girl, Get Out of My Mind

Writing this blog has vastly increased my interest in the meaning of dreams. In one of my earlier posts I mentioned that at some point I would share my theory on dreams, and I think now is a good time to do that; I've begun reading Carl Jung's Dreams, so I will share my simple, unprofessional thoughts on the subject now before I learn how complex it really is.

While many dreams seem chaotic and random, I absolutely think they are significant. I can see in some, though not all of my own dreams the underlying threads of truth... the deeper thoughts and fears that are represented. I think the "players"-- the people and objects that are present in the dream-- are often things we have seen, heard, or thought of during the preceding day or two, even if only momentarily. The players then act out a scene (the dream) that bears a much deeper theme.

For example...
Last night I dreamed that I was sitting in my mom's room with Kelsey and Hannah, two of the 9th grade girls from church. They told me that one of their friends had kissed a boy on a mission trip. Scandalous. In the dream I reacted with great shock... then asked them if I could write about it in my blog (this blog.) They hesitated, then I said, "Oh... I guess I shouldn't. She is probably going to be in a lot of trouble anyway."

This is the analysis, based on Catherine Tudor's dream theory:

The players... Yesterday I ate dinner at my mom's house, which gave me the setting of the dream. On Sunday I saw Hannah and Kelsey at church and thought about how much I love talking with them, so they became the characters. Also on Sunday, someone brought up in conversation a girl who was in the youth group when I was in high school who did get in trouble on a mission trip... not for kissing a boy, but for falling asleep on his shoulder in the hallway.

The themes... Yesterday morning I could not remember a single dream, and I actually began to worry. What if I never dream again? What if I can never write in my blog again? I have no material... That worry manifested itself in my request to write about a non-dream item in my dream. Another, more profound underlying fear represented is the anxiety that comes with the responsibility of leading a mission trip. There has been a lot of discussion lately about the trips for next summer, and while I have not consciously thought about the stress of it all, I know there is a strong association in my mind between mission trips and: Are all the youth here? Did I forget the permission slips? What if there is a crazy driver on the road? What if a youth gets hurt on the work site? What if a youth sneaks out at night and kisses a boy? You get the idea.

The first 16 pages of Jung's book have taught me two things: 1. No dream is insignificant, and thus 2. I am out of my mind to be writing this blog!

Analyze Away

It's 6:45 a.m., and I am blogging. Why? (Or, to quote my sweet niece, "Becausewhy?") Because for the last four-ish hours I have been waking up and falling back asleep into a continuation of the same nightmare, and I'd rather be awake and tired than asleep and afraid. I wake up, sit up to completely shake off the sleep state, and tell myself it's just a dream, but each time I put my head on the pillow and close my eyes, the nightmare continues. And no, it's not about waffles... although you might laugh when you read what it IS about, but I challenge you to enter the dream world... imagine that this were real, and consider how you would feel...

A tyrannosaurus rex terrorized the city. I do not know how it existed, but it was destroying buildings and eating people at a rapid pace, and no one knew how to kill it. For one segment of the dream I was at my mom's house, alone. I could hear the T rex rampaging through the neighborhood, and I was all but paralyzed with fear. I didn't know where to hide. A cat appeared at the back door, begging to enter the house. With a look of panic in its eyes, the cat puffed itself up so that it seemed to stand four feet tall. I opened the door, but it ran away to the edge of the woods. As it climbed a tree I thought, "There's no way it can climb high enough to avoid being eaten..." I couldn't risk drawing attention to myself by calling for the cat, so I sadly (and quietly) closed the door and looked for a hiding place. I knew the downstairs hall closet was my best bet, but I ended up upstairs in the small room connected to my mom's room. The T rex approached the house, and looked at me through the window. Nothing but glass separated me from its face, which was as large as my entire body. I think this is one of the times I woke up shaking.

When I fell back asleep, the predator continued its reign of terror. This time I was in an apartment in the city. Again, I could hear the T rex walking, people screaming, and buildings crashing. I paced the apartment (blinds closed, clearly), and discussed strategy with a few others who had taken refuge there. I cried and pleaded, "Can't I just shut myself in a closet and hide until it goes away??" A couple in their late 30s said, "No, we won't let you hide. We have to get away from here." Four of us (the couple, me, and Allison) walked outside, then made a run for the car. We could see the beast a few blocks away, and as soon as we began running, it saw us too and let out a... growl? Whatever terrifying noise a T rex makes...think Jurassic Park. It ran towards us as we drove away. At this point I remembered that this particular dinosaur relies heavily on motion for its sight, so we pulled the car next to a brick building and held as still as possible. The T rex stood directly beside our car and sniffed us, but we did not move, and he left us alone.

The order of the next few events is kind of blurry in my mind. I saw Gabe in the same part of the city and ran to help her hide. We crawled underneath a tennis court net that was lying on the sidewalk. Again, we could see the monster just across the street. I told Gabe to hold as still as possible, but she kept wiggling and readjusting. The T rex noticed. He ran towards us as I said through clenched teeth, "Gabe. Hold. Still." Our lives were spared. Back in the car we drove underground into a subway station where many were gathered. Someone received word that the T rex had been lured into the water and was in the process of drowning. The crowd began cheering, but I feared we were celebrating too soon, considering the animal was still alive. I urged everyone to wait it out until we knew for sure, but everyone else had hope that this was the end of our living nightmare.

At this point I woke up again. I sat up and mentally tried to sever the dream sequence, but when I fell back asleep...

I was in London (apparently I'd been there along,) and the tyrannosaurus rex was alive but had moved on to Sweden. The survivors--and there were not many in comparison to the starting population-- in London received a letter from Kenya begging them to find a way to stop the beast before it made its way around the world. I remember thinking, "No one knows how to stop it; it's impossible." In this segment of the dream, everyone in London was trying to piece their lives back together post- T rex, although everyone knew it would return. Inside my apartment I received a phone call from the dad of a friend of a friend, who told me not to be afraid (I think the T rex ate his daughter (wow... I never imagined typing that sentence...)) One of the boys who lives next door to my mom entered my apartment; he is in high school now, but in the dream he was four, which is pretty much how I think of him. I asked where his brother and parents were, and he told me the T rex ate them, so I said he could stay with me.

I walked outside my apartment, and saw a plot of farm land with goats and baby pigs alternating in a perfect grid. Those tending the animals seemed naively calm. Did they not know that the T rex was coming back? It could be any minute...

Then word came: the sharp-toothed tyrant had returned. People began running from the field into the woods as the sense of panic settled back in. Then I was back in my mom's neighborhood; I ran into the Common Area--a large field hidden behind many of the houses that's used for neighborhood picnics, frisbee games, etc. A few people had driven onto the field to hide. I sat between a car and a truck, alone. I overheard a father saying to his young son, "In about an hour you will reach the point when you begin reflecting on your life..." In other words, the sense of impending doom was so great and so real that this man had to prepare his son. Before he could finish, a school bus stopped on the street in front of one of the houses; it had come to drive people to safety. I recognized the situation from a movie, or perhaps another dream, and I knew that no one should get on the bus; the T rex could easily catch it, knock it over, and eat everyone inside. No one listened. Men, women, and children flocked to the bus. Then the door to the truck beside me opened. I looked up and saw a kind man, smiling, with his hand outstretched towards me. He didn't have to say a word for me to know that he knew the way to safety.

I woke up again as I climbed into the truck. As I was waking up, part of me felt as though I should fall back asleep to completely resolve the dream. But a bigger part of me was tired (pun intended) of feeling afraid and wanted to wake up and just get on with my day. Thus I blogged at 6:45 a.m. Needless to say, I do not feel well-rested today.